It has hit me again. I am a self-devouring animal, but all this is happening in my head. I am being punished by myself for all the things I have not done and all the things I have not been.
All my value has been taken away and I have again not been good enough. I am hearing the same cruel voices again….
No contact. Mother-reptile has been thrust with thousand swords. Reptile in disguise.
Instead of blood, there is black fluid. There is no cry, just some squalling inhumane voice.
Stubs cause no harm just the machine starts to malfunction. So disgusting to realize I have bits of it in me. I am suffering millions of beings. Crusade for nothing. Lost before begin.
Death is flowing down the river. Sadness is music and music is sadness. I am yet to explore the past I forgot.
I am successful, but I feel so down and defeated. There is no one behind the mask.
Under the hood – I’ve always wanted to die.