Idealization may swiftly devalue since there is no intermediate ground for NPD. They may swiftly depreciate those they once adored when questioned, intimidated, or disappointed. Rather than coping with uncertainty, discounting reduces anxiety.
The abrupt change from idealized to devalued typically confuses the subjects of these cycles. Relationships with others may be challenging for those with NPD because of this loop.
Soon after, the narcissist in your life will start changing things up and being manipulative. It will start out quietly, probably targeting your closest friends and family first. They may even attempt to alienate you from your loved ones… As a result, you are left with no one to turn to for help, and they may sink their claws deeper… divide and conquer
Later, the narcissist would increase their deceit, twisting facts to their advantage. They will verbally abuse you, accuse you, blame you, shame you, threaten you, guilt trip you, and withhold things (like money or affection) from you.
So they can “put you in your place”, undermine your self-esteem and look more powerful. They may grow enraged and violent to subdue you. Worst case scenario, they may get violent.
The narcissist’s conduct is often justified during this period. To keep you alert, puzzled, and involved, they will keep dropping love-bombs into the mix of abusive techniques. And it works! You may even continue to joyfully ignore any red indicators. We are not only enabling the narcissist to devalue ourselves, but also our own internal GPS that screams “danger!”
The narcissist’s manipulative methods (more on this later) will drive you to question yourself and your sanity, and you may even live in a cloud of uncertainty. You may feel unworthy and incapable of doing anything correctly. A person who previously made you feel unique will never be able to regain your self-esteem.
Devaluation is the antithesis of idealization in psychiatry and psychology. Relationships with others may be challenging for those with NPD because of this loop. We are enabling the narcissist to devalue ourselves, as well as our own internal GPS that screams “danger!”.