The word narcissist conjures up images of someone self-absorbed and vain. However, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is more than meets the eye.
It’s tough to detect a narcissist when they’re close to you: someone you’re dating, married to, divorced from, working with or for, or parenting. The outcome is a poisonous and sad relationship.
There are several types of narcissists. One thing they all have in common is their ability to manipulate you and cause chaos in your life. In fact, narcissists are unaware that they are narcissists, according to the clinical criteria of narcissistic personality disorder. You won’t, since narcissists seldom seek help.
You may still assist yourself and, better still, get therapy if you are a victim of narcissistic abuse, which is real and recognized. In order to protect oneself, it is vital to understand what narcissism is, what traits narcissists display, and how to identify one in your life.
NPD: People with narcissistic personality disorder have an excessive desire for adulation, lack of empathy, and trouble developing good relationships. However, narcissists have high self-esteem because they believe they are superior to others. False.
A narcissist’s arrogance is a mask. Because narcissists have poor self-esteem, even little criticism may cause a narcissistic injury. Watch careful if you caused it. A narcissist will try to punish you by gaslighting, giving you the silent treatment, ranting at you, projecting, and blaming others.
DSM-5 assigns NPD sufferers particular symptoms. A clinical diagnosis requires five of the following:
- Exaggerated feeling of self-importance
- Obsession with prosperity and power fantasies
- Belief they are unique and only other unique individuals can understand them
- Desire for praise and awe
- Empowerment
- a habit of taking advantage of others
- Ineptitude
- Envy, mistrust, and arrogance
A psychologist or psychiatrist may diagnose NPD. However, many individuals go through life without this diagnosis, causing problems between narcissists and their relationships.
While you may not be equipped to identify a narcissist, NPD may cause other behaviors and relationship patterns that you should be aware of, particularly while dating. You should break up with a narcissist if you see a cluster of the nine tell-tale indications below, then go on to someone else.
Sign 1: They obsess about their looks and reputation.
A narcissist’s exaggerated sense of self-worth is well-known. But this is more than just glancing at oneself in the mirror and enjoying their beauty, though they may do this as well. While narcissists may be self-conscious about their looks, they often worry about how outsiders view them.
Love bombing is a phenomena when a narcissist goes above and beyond normal conduct to capture your heart. The first few months are a frenzy of romantic meals, trips, and heady chats about how you’re soulmates and suited for one other.
Experts advise against conflating this with empathy or warmth. “They’re testing you to see whether you’ll be a decent narcissistic supply.”
As soon as you give in to their demands, a narcissist stops attempting to show their concern. In public, a narcissist will continue to be the ideal lover or girlfriend, making them seem good. In private, with no one to impress, they’ll abandon the act and emotionally assault you.
Narcissistic partners want you to be ideal and will not accept your flaws, which everyone has. These flaws, combined with their self-loathing, torment narcissists and fuel their aggressive conduct.
Sign 2: It’s all about them.
When chatting to a narcissist, you may feel compelled to battle for a chance to express yourself. Your talks will usually be about them and their issues.
A narcissist may grow bored and tune you out if you start talking about yourself. This conduct might produce resentment and a sense that the partnership is not meeting your emotional requirements. That’s because they aren’t.
Sign 3: They are shrewd.
A narcissist’s inclination to influence others, especially those close to them, is more malignant. They will do practically anything to get praise, no matter how nasty.
A narcissist may influence you by making you feel bad for doing something for yourself. Or they may demean you to keep you in the relationship. If you are overweight, unattractive, or foolish, a narcissist may say no one else will desire you.
In addition to lying to their faces, narcissists may gaslight their victims, forcing them to doubt what they already know to be true. That’s why you should always follow your instincts, something a narcissist wants you to do.
Sign 4: You are placed down.
You are more likely to quit and not tolerate narcissistic abuse if you have great self-esteem and independence. A narcissist may progressively diminish your self-esteem and make you feel as if there is no hope for you if you chose to quit the relationship. They may even claim they are keeping you in the relationship to protect you from others’ abuse.
A narcissist wants you to feel they’re the only one who would tolerate you. It is possible that the narcissist may attempt to isolate you from other friends and relatives who may see through their actions and push you to leave.
Sign 5: Lack empathy
Lack of empathy is a symptom of NPD. Empathy is the capacity to sense and feel another’s emotions. A narcissist’s emotional experience is unique. They may understand why someone feels a particular way but cannot share those feelings.
In a relationship, a narcissist may act in ways that will irritate you but will not care since they don’t care about others’ emotions. Except their own.
Sign 6: Their icy.
The lack of empathy in narcissistic people means they don’t emote as much as other people, which makes them seem cold. In a relationship with a narcissist, you may find yourself opening up about a difficult issue, only to feel abandoned by your spouse. They are quiet or don’t respond when you expect them to be warm.
Alternatively, a narcissist may make decisions purely rationally, without feeling. They may dismiss your sentiments since they are unaffected.
Finally, narcissists often manipulate their partners by changing their moods. They may also punish with the cold.
Their attention and devotion have dwindled to crumbs. A narcissist, like anybody else you date, wants to win you over. The narcissist takes it a step further, love bombing you with care and attention to get you hooked on their adoration.
Nihilistic people want to move on quickly. They want access, their names on your accounts, and absolute control over your life before you can discover out who they are.
Once you’ve fallen for them, they just text, phone, or visit you sometimes. The narcissist may vanish, only to reappear in the same manner.
Where the narcissist formerly praised your beauty, they may now have little or nothing pleasant to say. They used to say and act as though they wanted to make a life with you, but now they say no. These tricks are meant to make you feel uneasy in the relationship and need their adoration.
Sign 7: Their attention and devotion have dwindled to breadcrumbs.
A narcissist, like anybody else you date, wants to win you over. The narcissist takes it a step further, love bombing you with care and attention to get you hooked on their adoration.
Nihilistic people want to move on quickly, They want access, their names on your accounts, and absolute control over your life before you can discover out who they are.
Once you’ve fallen for them, they just text, phone, or visit you sometimes. The narcissist may vanish, only to reappear in the same manner.
Where the narcissist formerly praised your beauty, they may now have little or nothing pleasant to say. They used to say and act as though they wanted to make a life with you, but now they say no. These tricks are meant to make you feel uneasy in the relationship and need their adoration.
Sign 8: A few lifelong friendships.
Because of their flawless appearance, narcissists are charming and easily make friends. Keeping friends might be difficult when one is pathologically self-absorbed.
True friends listen to their friends’ concerns rather than making everything about themselves. Like sexual partnerships, platonic friendships are mutually beneficial. Friendships tend to fade out soon since a narcissist’s universe revolves around them.
Sign 9: They are narcissistic.
Although narcissists do marry, they are frequently terrified of long-term commitment. Fearful of commitment, narcissists have a harem of love partners in case one of them starts making demands the narcissist can’t or won’t satisfy. When that occurs, the narcissist either withdraws or vanishes.
When a narcissist returns unexpectedly and successfully re-enters their target, they may effectively reset the relationship to a comfortable point. Fearing what occurred the first time, the target usually doesn’t make demands again. If they persist, the punishment often worsens: the narcissist disappears longer, the verbal abuse rises, etc.
The longer the cycle goes on, the harder it is to break free. A narcissist never leaves. Nobody, says the narcissist.
That’s why the easiest method to avoid a narcissist is to avoid any contact with them. No contact means no social media links, messages, calls, visits, drive-bys, or social media spying on your side, no reminiscing about them, nothing. The best approach to date a narcissist is not to.
Summary
Narcissists are unaware that they are narcissists, according to the clinical criteria of narcissistic personality disorder. Break up with a narcissist if you see a cluster of the nine tell-tale indications below. NPD may cause other behaviors and relationship patterns that you should be aware of. Narcissistic partners want you to be ideal and will not accept your flaws, which everyone has. Experts advise against conflating this with empathy or warmth.
Love bombing is a phenomenon when a narcissist goes above and beyond normal conduct to capture your heart. A narcissist wants you to feel they’re the only one who would tolerate you. Lack of empathy is a symptom of NPD. A narcissist may act in ways that will irritate you but will not care since they don’t care about others’ emotions. Keeping friends might be difficult when one is pathologically self-absorbed.
The best approach to date a narcissist is not to. Avoid all contact with them – no contact means no social media links, messages, calls, visits, drive-bys, or social media spying on your side.