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The Book Of Narcissism

Breadcrumbing in Narcissism


Breadcrumbing as form of abuse

Breadcrumbing, the approach narcissists and insecure utilize while courting. Breadcrumbing refers to an attitude in which the individual provides minor indicators of desiring something with you, but in fact.

It is first useful to recall how the narcissist “entraps” you. They accomplish this in the love-bombing stage by showering you with attention, nice compliments, gifts… and seduction. They make themselves out to be your everything.

Once you’ve eaten the bait and they’ve caught you in, their next move is to keep you where they want you… however they can no longer maintain the mask they wore in the love-bombing stage, since it is too stressful for them as it is not their genuine self.

Since you’re hooked and emotionally reliant on them at this stage, they feel they can give you only breadcrumbs of what you experienced during the love-bombing period and that would be enough to keep you around as their doormat (at least for a long time) (at least for a long time).

A little tenderness here, a good supper there… sprinkling in some occasional praises and excellent sex.

Each time they do this, you recall the person they were during the love-bombing period and you wish for that person back. You believe maybe one day that person will come back. The sporadic love (breadcumbs), which is then over-shadowed by enough doses of abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, belittling, and falsehoods to sink a battleship..… and then a few more breadcrumbs, well… the entire process forms the trauma connection.

The trauma link, the unseen thread that keeps you tied to them… well it is more difficult to break than any actual chord could ever be.

When someone offers you just enough time and attention to keep you engaged, this is known as breadcrumbing. Breadcrumbers, on the other hand, do not want to commit; instead, they manipulate you so that you are needing more. Inconsistent responses and failure to follow up on plans are evident indications of narcissistic breadcrumbing.

Summary

Breadcrumbing, the approach narcissists and insecure utilize while courting. Breadcrumbing refers to an attitude in which the individual provides minor indicators of desiring something with you, but in fact they only want you to feel something they don’t actually want.