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The Book Of Narcissism

Love-bombing


The love-bombinga face is meant to deceive you.

Love bombing is constant gifts, praises, and attention. The love bomber then manipulates you by withholding affection and attention. It’s great to be loved! Feeling loved and valued by others may instantly enhance confidence. But something is off. It’s hard to describe, but it’s there. Narcissistic supply may be you.

I’ll use Jane’s narrative to illustrate love bombing. Jane had been seeing Robert for a year. He just dumped her owing to his infidelity. After the split, Robert began sending her the most beautiful love letters and costly presents she’d ever received. Jane was both enchanted and wary. Robert had never behaved like this before in their relationship. His personality was erratic.

Jane’s efforts to comprehend Robert’s new actions failed. Jane found his extravagant gestures maniacal. With uncanny speed, Robert tried to reclaim their affection. This attention left Jane feeling bewildered.

But Jane needed time to evaluate her thoughts after Robert’s strange actions. Robert, however, refused Jane’s request for privacy. A lack of intimacy between them would cause Jane to withdraw, causing him to lose his self-esteem. Jane’s rejection crushed his delicate ego. To feel good about himself, he needed Jane (i.e., Robert needed a narcissistic supply).

Jane knew this cycle of push/pull would go on. But she was conflicted since she desired Robert’s affection. His acts made her feel appreciated. As soon as he became tired, Robert would revert to his bad habits, and she would ask him to come back.

Summary

The love bomber manipulates you by withholding affection and attention in order to maintain their narcissistic supply. Narcissistic supply may be you.