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The Book Of Narcissism

Hoovering


Narcissist hoovers you to destroy you!

Hoovering is a kind of emotional abuse. A “narcissistic individual” hoovers when they believe the victim or person they abuse or manipulate is leaving.

This is an effort to deceive a previous victim of abuse into another cycle of abuse so the abusive person may retake power and control by inflicting mental and physical pain on a target.

The term “Hoover maneuver” refers to the abusers' attempts to “suck up” others' enjoyment to feed their narcissistic urges.

A narcissist abuser is a shrew. He might make you feel validated or guilty. It seems like your greatest fantasies are coming true, and you are the most important person in the world to that person. It’s frequently a relief. When you’re emotionally hungry, any type of personal affirmation feels great. But just because something tastes delicious doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

If they start professing their love for you after the breakup, see it as a twisted way of attempting to re-engage you. This should be strange if they had previously struggled to express their sentiments. Remorse:

They suddenly repent and apologize profusely for previous errors. So they’re attempting to persuade you they’ve changed and won’t repeat previous errors. These apologies may be deceptive. If they act defensive, their apologies aren’t real.

They want your attention. They may then threaten to harm themselves to get your attention. Then they may advise something drastic if you do not return their calls. If you believe they are in danger and endangering others, call 911.

If they are unable to contact you directly, they may ask others to do so. So they may blame you and elicit pity from your friends and relatives. They may tell your parents and friends how much they miss you.

After an emotional outburst, violent event, or other intense period of abuse, the perpetrator recognizes the victim is likely to flee, retaliate, or seek assistance. The victim withdraws from the relationship, leaves it, or sets stricter boundaries within it. The abuser fears losing the connection and feels unworthy.

Hoovering is contacting you out of the blue and pretending nothing has occurred. If your ex wants you back, they should say so. Manipulation is asking whether you still have anything from them or stating they dreamt about you.

It’s OK to allow someone who has been abusive to you treat you well; just don’t let them undermine your boundaries, accept for less than you deserve, stop doing healthy activities, or lose your independence.

It’s important to remember that mood changes are part of various personality disorders.

Summary

A “narcissistic individual” hoovers when they believe the victim or person they abuse or manipulate is leaving. Hoovering is an effort to deceive a previous victim of abuse into another cycle of abuse so the abusive person may retake power by inflicting mental and physical pain on a target. If your ex has a personality disorder, they may try to manipulate you by contacting you out of the blue and pretending nothing has happened between them and you. Call 911 if they make threats or ask others to dole out their address book for them when they want to contact you.