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The Book Of Narcissism

Codependency

Despite having an ostensibly powerful personality, narcissists lack a core self. Their self-image and thinking and conduct are other-oriented in order to protect and confirm their self-esteem and fragile, broken self. Narcissism has codependent basic features of denial, control, shame, dependency (unconscious), and dysfunctional communication and boundaries, all leading to interpersonal difficulties. One investigation indicated a considerable relationship between narcissism and codependency. Although more aggressive than passive, in my opinion, they are codependent.

Accommodating codependents and narcissists may be a fantastic match, albeit unpleasant, because the latter’s traits and air of accomplishment boost the formers’ weak self-esteem, which helps accommodators to suffer emotional abuse. Due to the fear, shame, and rejection of their own power, accommodators prefer to play a more subservient and non-assertive role. They explore and thirst for missing elements of themselves and idealize new partners’ traits, which they strive to assimilate. Because of this, it is uncommon for two accommodators to meet. As a consequence, they’re charmed with a narcissist’s self-control and “strong” and live vicariously through them, unconscious of the fragile personalities and disguised shame that go along with it.

People with NPD and codependency generally share similar childhood experiences. They’ve merely devised different techniques of adjusting. Let’s say, for example, that a pair of twins is reared in neglect. One sibling may have a weak self-esteem and recognize they are only “worth something” if they are valuable to others. They may mature into a self-sacrificing, codependent adult. The second sibling might develop an inflated self-esteem as a protective technique. As a narcissistic adult, the child may demand constant validation to prove their self-worth as a consequence of the cruelty they suffered as a youngster.

Codependents lack a healthy relationship with themselves. They are prone to put others first before their own needs. This is unhealthy.

In addition, narcissists have a problematic relationship with their own self. They put themselves above everything else. They exploit individuals for their own objectives and misuse relationships without thoughts of regret or grief. They pass blame off on others and are unable to realize their own role in incorrect conduct.

It is easy to comprehend how codependents and narcissists get hooked up. Putting the two together is like solving a puzzle. The other has an easy victim in the first. But there is a deeper tie.

It turns out that this meeting has a family history. If you have one parent who is narcissistic you are likely to become either codependent or narcissistic yourself. If you have two narcissistic parents the same holds true.

A person could begin to create boundaries and stand up to the narcissist if they have healed from codependency. Humans have a hard time picturing someone who is unable to feel empathy for others or learn from their blunders. The greatest blunder the codependent commits is to give the benefit of the doubt to the narcissistic spouse as it is so hard to think someone could be so selfish and inflexible. As a consequence, the action gets begu n.

Summary

Accommodating codependents and narcissists may be a fantastic match, albeit unpleasant. Narcissism has codependent basic features of denial, control, shame, dependency (unconscious) and dysfunctional communication and boundaries. People with NPD and codependency generally share similar childhood experiences. Codependents lack a healthy relationship with themselves and are prone to putting others first. Narcissists have a problematic relationship with their own self. Codependents tend to give the benefit of the doubt to the narcissistic spouse because it is so hard to think someone could be so selfish.